DISTURBING BEDTIME TALE
(FOR VERY BAD PEOPLE)
Disturbing Bedtime Tales is an anthology that takes the medium of the fairytale and fable to new dimensions of dark and twisted, comedic surrealism.
From the story of Brasnips the Pisswitch, who terrorises a village by slashing on its vegetable yield, to the fable of The Chronic Arsetronaut, the first sexist man in outer space, these fragmented parables will leave you wide-eyed and wondering if there really is a God. The Liar, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Angels of the Garden Shed and Wee Willy Knicker-Sniffer are the cautionary tales the Brothers Grimm nearly wrote but thought better of and the ideas Hans Christians Anderson dismissed as the onset of madness.
Enjoy. And… unpleasant dreams.
Available on eBook.
Published by Sixth Element Publishing
Buy the eBook at 6e
THE LEGEND OF ARTHUR KING
It's an ordinary day for Arthur - he's just faked a heart attack to get out of Maths and is contemplating the beauty of Gwen Lott. But a glimpse of her bra strap sets off a chain of events that reveals that Arthur's so far rather pitiful life is far from ordinary. He and his new (only) friend Lawrence are about to discover that they are the spirit of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table reborn. Our noble heroes must save Albion Wood and a rare species of 'white bird fingies' from destruction. God's swimming trunks, are they up to the challenge?
Published by Scholastic
Also available as an audio book.
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ARTHUR KING AND THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE TIME TRAIN
There're odd things afoot in Thornaby, again. Rips in the very fabric of time are leaving bewildered people hours out of sync with their lives, and Lawrence gets mugged by cavemen. Then there's the strange nightly rumblings beneath the town - some say it's the sound of a ghost train. More importantly, for Arthur at least, is the fact that he still hasn't got off with Gwen. Arthur and Lawrence embark on an adventure more perplexing than any of Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson's - can their detective ancestry (or something) help them crack the case?
Published by Scholastic
Also available as an audio book.
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THE SMTV LIVE ANNUAL
Relive the fast moving, side splittingly funny glory days of SMTV Live with this, the one and only SMTV Annual. Heaps of typically barmy Ant, Dec and Cat features like Build Your Own Fruit & Veg Universe, Wonkey Donkey Wordsearch, Chums In The Cave Of Fear, Challenge Ant plus stacks more!
Published by Two Can
Out of print
THE CLASSIC CHILDREN’S TELEVISION QUIZ BOOK
Compiled by acclaimed television scriptwriter and novelist Dean Wilkinson, The Classic Children’s Television Quiz Book is packed with fascinating facts about the shows you loved as a child as well as those programmes currently capturing the imagination of today’s young audiences.
From timeless classics like Thunderbirds, Blue Peter and Dr Who to the thoroughly up-to-date Sponge Bob, the 1,000 questions in this book will not only test your memory of the characters you grew up with but your family’s knowledge of their current favourites.
With a fitting foreword by popular family TV presenters Ant and Dec this book is sure to prove a hit with television lovers of all ages and, in particular, those members of the older generation who have remained young at heart.
Published by Apex Publishing
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SARKYLOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS
It’d be a very boring world if we were all exactly the same, and one young girl finds that out in this hilarious new take on the classic fairy tale.
Sarkylocks comes to realise that it’s wrong to lower someone’s self esteem by making jokes about them just because they’re different to what you think people should be like.
Sarky learns that differences are to be celebrated, and you yourself will feel a lot happier and more confident if you make someone else feel the same way. One nice word is worth a million nasty ones.
Part of the 21st Century Fairy Folktales range
Published by The Wilkinson Press
Buy at The Wilkinson Press
THE TEES BALLY FIBBER, VOLUME 1
Foreword by Harry Hill
The choicest cuts from the now defunct spoof news website The Tees Bally Fibber, entirely written by Dean. The website ran for 6 years and with headlines like…
‘CYCLISTS WHO WEAR LYCRA DESERVE TO BE KNOCKED OFF SAYS TOP COP’
‘STRICKEN FERRY OFFLOADS CARGO OF AUSTRIAN NUNS.’
‘BONES OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN FOUND IN KEBAB’
‘DOGS THAT DON’T KILL CATS ARE HOMOS SAYS VET’
…it was always alive with controversy and silliness. It caught the attention of the great and the good and top TV funny man Harry Hill offered to write a foreword for it.